The birth story that started it all.

My 39 week appointment was scheduled for October 15th at 9:45am. I told David about a week before that we should put the hospital bags in the car and do a practice run the day of my appointment. I also mentioned how convenient it would be if she decided to make her arrival that day. The weekend before she was born, David and I took full advantage of the time we had left and went to a drag race about an hour away from our home. Was it the smartest decision to drive over 3 hours away from the hospital I planned to deliver at? Maybe not but we had a blast and made it home safely. The day before she was born, David got a haircut (so he wouldn’t scare his newborn daughter) and we had dinner at Fuzzy’s that included a conversation of guessing when she would make her arrival. The morning of the 15th, I woke up at 4am with cramp like contractions and I began timing them. I woke David up around 7am in tears and then made a phone call to the front desk of the women’s clinic and let them know I had been having consistent contractions for over 3 hours. They told me to go ahead and come that way and head to Labor and Delivery when I arrived. My contractions were 5 minutes apart, 1 minute or longer from that point forward. When I arrived, I was given a cervical check and I was at 1cm and 95% effaced. They monitored me for two hours, checked again and no progress had been made. They had me meet with the OB that was on call that day and he told me it was most likely false labor and scheduled an induction for the 18th. I had never wanted to be induced but the thought of the contractions lasting for 3 more days was an exhausting thought. I also still had hope that she would make her appearance that day. After meeting with the OB, I was told to go to lunch and walk around and come back to be checked again. We made a day out of it and went to lunch with my parents, walked to a few stores, and my mom purchased a baby book for us. We made one more stop at the park and David attempted to take a nap. We got back to the medical center and I was checked a third time and still had not made any progress except the position of my cervix had changed but it still wasn’t aligned with her head. They advised me to go home and try to rest. This made all of us nervous because it was close to a two hour drive home and my contractions were still consistent. The drive home was miserable and I was running on no sleep. We got home around 6:30pm and I decided to take a bath to see if it would help me relax and slow or stop the contractions. It did quite the opposite. My contractions got closer together and so intense I began shaking and sweating. David comes upstairs and it’s evident to him that things are changing so he calls the medical center. They tell him to get me some Tylenol and if I feel the urge to push, I need to go to the closest hospital. I am still in the mindset that this isn’t the real thing and I must be dehydrated so I drink more water and attempt to calm down. David finally calls my mom (bless her) and he tells her that I keep saying I need to use the restroom and that I just want to sit on the toilet. She says, “It’s time to get out of the house.” David gathered our things and I slowly made it down the stairs to the car. I was experiencing so much pressure that I didn’t feel like I could sit in the front seat. We move everything out of the back seat and I laid down and began making noises I had never heard myself make and neither had David. The plan (in my head) was to pick up my mom in Shawnee and head to Ada but the closer we got, the more apparent it was that we wouldn’t make it to Ada. My water had broken in the car and I couldn’t help but push. My mom met us in Shawnee at the hospital and had already told the ER staff what was going on so they were ready. When we arrived, David ran in to get a wheelchair and my mom helped me get out of the car. A nurse appeared so quickly and my eyes were closed (lost in labor land and I also didn’t want to see the people in the waiting room staring at me) so I didn’t see her face until the next day. She pushed me to the elevator so swiftly that David and my dad were jogging to catch up and took the stairs to meet us. I remember getting to the delivery room, taking off my clothes in what felt like one motion, throwing a gown on, and literally hopping on the bed as well as a woman in labor can hop. The OB came in, checked me and said, “You’re at a 10, you’re complete.” I can’t even explain the feeling but it was a combination of shock and relief. My denial finally passed and I was about to meet my baby girl. There was no time for pain meds, an IV, or even paperwork and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I pushed for about 15 minutes and that final push, I could feel her shoulder stick for just a moment and then it was out and I felt instant relief and a flood of emotions. We arrived at the hospital a little after 9pm and she was here at 9:41 pm on October 15, 2019 weighing 7lbs 7oz and 20in. long.
The day our lives changed in the best way.

When I processed my birth a few days after, I thought that nothing had gone according to plan except for my desire to birth naturally and unmedicated. Looking at my birth plan now (yes, I still have it saved on my phone) I realize that everything went according to plan except the location. Birth is a miracle and every story is worth sharing over and over. I’m so thankful for the hospital staff, all of which were complete strangers but they became a crucial part of our story and I will forever be grateful.

A few notes I feel are worth mentioning. I am the type of person that values community and I love my people. I wanted David, my mom, my cousin/best friend, Kalyn, and my person, Chelsea to be present in the delivery room but with how quickly things proceeded, it didn’t work out that way. David and my mom were my rocks and my encouragers. I wasn’t aware of what a Doula was at the time and didn’t know the difference between a Doula and a Midwife and at the medical center, I would’ve had a midwife. Now that I know what they are and I am one, I realized that my mom acted as my doula. She knew my birth desires and when the OB said, “you’re complete” and the realization of an unmedicated birth becoming a reality hit me, she cheered and said “this is what you wanted.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. David tried to bring his sense of humor into the situation by saying, “I’m sorry babe but I don’t think she’s going to be cute” after seeing her head crowning and it was a greyish color. I didn’t laugh but it did help lighten the mood. They both kept saying, “she’s right there” so many times I eventually questioned them but soon enough, she was here. I couldn’t have done it without them.

Words matter. Your support team matters. Your experience matters. You matter.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope to be apart of yours.

Melanie Cabaniss, BBCD, BBCI